


extinguish

by xiatudour



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, F/M, Guilt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 22:51:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15672897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiatudour/pseuds/xiatudour





	extinguish

"Oh um...this... and then this...?" When had his memory gotten so bad?

The brief panic and embarrassment that welled up from his forgetfulness subsided when Hide's hands touched his own, coaxing them into one position, then another, and so on.

Hide's hands were rough-looking, well-worn. Slightly bigger than his own, with long, slender fingers, veins appearing and disappearing on the back of his hand as he showed Kaneki how to sign a certain word and oh- maybe this is why he had such a hard time remembering sign language. Hide radiated so much light, warmth, joy, even just a single part of him distracted Kaneki to this degree.

His hand had been left limp in Hide's, letting him shape them as he pleaded, until suddenly Kaneki was taking the lead, squeezing both of Hide's hands with his own, slowly pushing him backwards until he Kaneki was all but lying on top of him.

"Kaneki."

His voice was hoarse, it always was, but despite this he could still easily detect the harshness of his tone.

"I've told you before. I won't let you cheat on her with me."

His voice softened towards the end of his declaration. Kaneki didn't know if it was from emotion or physical necessity. He didn't know which would be worse. Both reasons are entirely his own fault.

Hide had a way of knowing when Kaneki intended more than friendly affection. He stopped him short without fail, every time, but he still couldn't help himself. The burning shame he felt didn't outweigh the primal need to show Hide his feelings, that he still loved him despite the events that had occurred while he was presumed dead.

"I'm..." He started to apologize, but he knew it was pointless. "I know."

He sat up, looking down at Hide. Fuck. His eyes were glassy and red. In one action, he'd extinguished Hide's light, his warmth, his joy.

No- that was incorrect. He'd done so many terrible things in the past. He'd weakened Hide to the point where just one misstep could put him in this place. He was so fragile now.

And like everything else, like all of it, it was his own fault.


End file.
